Goodbyes
by WhatSup121
Summary: SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME-Peter's heart hurts so much it physically pains him. Why did this always happen to him? Peter just wants to say goodbye. He just needs one more chance. One more.


**SPOILERS FOR ENGAME!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel**

Peter didn't know whether to cry, scream, or just stand there in shock.

Maybe even do all three, considering what just happened.

_There was a burning sensation in his chest, his body ripping itself up and trying to regenerate it at the same time. Peter had never felt anything like it. It wasn't like when he was hit by Ant-Man during the Civil War, or even when he was crushed under a building while facing the Vulture. Slightly panicking, he called out to Mr. Stark, as the genius always seemed to know what to do._

_ "Mr. Stark….. I don't feel so good." One of his hands flew to his stomach, the pain increasing tenfold in just a few seconds._

_ "You're alright." The worry was clear in the billionaire's eyes._

_ "I don't…. I don't know what's happening." That was a lie. He knew exactly what was happening. He was going to die, just like the others. He just didn't want to accept it, and he wasn't going to. _

_ "I don't know…" Peter tried to walk towards his mentor, staggering a few steps, but another increasing wave of pain hit him and he was sent falling into Tony's arms. He could feel his grip on reality fading, so he desperately clung to Tony, hoping that if he held on tight enough it would keep him from fading to ashes like the others. Alas, the cruel truth was that he could do nothing to stop the inevitable._

_ "I don't wanna go." His vision was blurring in and out, and his head was starting to feel fuzzy. With alarm, he realized he couldn't feel his hands or legs anymore. Dread settled in his gut as he turned his head slightly on Tony's shoulder to look at his hands. Even with his vision impaired, he could see exactly what was wrong with his hands._

_ Some of his fingers were gone._

_ "I don't wanna go, sir." He watched as more of his hand faded away before his eyes. The charred ashes of his skin dissipating as they flew in the air._

_ "Please." He could barely feel Tony setting him down on the ground. Another wave of pain wrecked havoc throughout his body, making his tight grip on his mentor slacken. _

_ "I don't wanna go." Maybe if I say it enough this won't be real, Peter thought to himself hysterically. This can't be real._

_ He knew in his heart he wasn't going to make it out of this battle._

_ He just hoped he would be older when this day came, and not in front of Mr. Stark. _

_He turned his gaze to the sky, he didn't want to see the pain on his mentors face when it happened. He refused to see the agony in Tony's eyes. Peter didn't even want to think about his looming death. He didn't want to think of the people he was leaving behind. He was supposed to help others._

_ He can't do that when he's dead._

_ "Please." His voice came out in a cracked whisper, only loud enough for Tony to hear his last word._

_ His eyes still turned to the sky, he finally relented his grip on reality to the power of the infinity stones._

_ And then there was nothing._

_ Utter darkness._

_ Everything was gone._

_ Vanished._

_ Vanished into the abyss._

_ Gone in the void._

_ And then, there was a light._

_ Gradually growing, but then it accelerated and consumed everything._

_ And then Peter was left on the ground blinking in shock._

_ I'm not dead?_

_ He quickly looked down at his hands. They were completely intact. No ashes. No missing fingers. The shock quickly morphed into joy._

_ I'm not dead!_

_ He jumped up to his feet in search of Mr. Stark, but instead he turned to find the strange wizard dude he was originally entrusted to protect at the beginning of the battle._

_ "Come on, the others need our help." Dr. Strange opened a portal by swirling his arm in circle._

_ Others? Peter was slightly confused as he peered into the portal to see some sort of room with mystical artifacts. There was no people in there, and he certainly didn't see his mentor. He just wanted to see Mr. Stark and let him know he was okay. He was sure he was in trouble for dying. Observing the room closer, his eye was caught on what seemed to be a wand in a display case._

_ "No way! You live at Hogwarts? Magic is the best!"_

_ Dr. Strange merely sighed in exasperation, he was not equipped to handle the teen in front of him._

_ "Let's go." The wizard briskly walked through the portal and into the Sanctum._

_ Peter followed silently behind the man, or about as silent as the teen could. Right as the portal closed behind him, he tripped over the rug in the room, letting out a yell as he collapsed on the floor. Turning to see the commotion, Dr. Strange let out another sigh as he saw the kid sprawled out all over the floor._

_ "Seriously?" Dr. Strange rubbed his forehead with his hand. "We're on a time restraint here."_

_ "Oops." Peter smiled sheepishly from where he was laying on the ground, and quickly stumbled to his feet. _

_ Dr. Strange turned, not waiting for Peter to catch up, and continued his brisk walk throughout the Sanctum._

_ "So, are you leading me to your students, Professor Dumbledore?"_

_The wizard didn't answer, he simply continued walking at his fast pace, intent on completing his task of finding the others._

_ "Oooooooh, I get it! We're off to find our Harry Potter, who will defeat Voldemort, or in our case, that crazy Thanos dude."_

_ Dr. Strange continued on in silence._

_ "Hmm, not a Harry Potter fan? I'm more of a Star Wars fan myself, but space wasn't exactly as fun as I thought it would be. It's kinda hard to enjoy when there are actual creepy aliens up there. I mean I almost thought I was going to be impregnated with alien eggs for awhile back there. Which is so not cool. The Alien movie is cool, but it's just too creepy for me to handle in real life, you know? So I'm not sure if I'll be able to love space movies as much as I used to. I'd rather just forget this horrible space experience, it's traumatizing to think about." He shuddered. "Three words. Alien. Eggs. GROSS."_

_ Peter hummed as he contemplated how his life seemed to be similar to the plots of some of his favorite movies. _

_ Peter snapped his fingers as a thought came to him. "OH I got it! We're off to see the Wizard! From the Wizard of Oz. Get it? Because you're a wizard too! Except you actually have real magic and you can do that really cool thing with that portal and—"_

_ Dr. Strange put a hand out to cut him off. "We're here, and please don't talk for the rest of the trip."_

_ Peter, slightly put out, mumbled to himself. "I still think you're Dumbledore."_

_ Dr. Strange, having heard the comment, shot Peter a glare, and then walked away to talk to another man in similar clothing._

_ In his rant, Peter hadn't noticed that they had traveled throughout the whole Sanctum. He was now in an area that seemed to be some sort of training grounds. He looked around to see that there were people that were dressed up in wizard clothes just like Dr. Strange. They seemed to be practicing the mystical arts, but Peter wouldn't know, he had never been a wizard before. Each student seemed to have some sort of special artifact with them that they were dueling with. Huh. It really was like Hogwarts here._

_ Suddenly, Dr. Strange was back in front of him, and the man he was talking to was following at his heels._

_ Peter opened his mouth to say something, but Dr. Strange quickly cut him off. "Let's go. It's time to help the others."_

_ And then Dr. Strange was opening another portal. When Peter stepped through the portal, he noticed that the wizard had not only opened a portal to get them to the battlefield, but he had opened thousands of portals to get all the heroes of the world to fight Thanos. As he looked around, he took notice of the fallen Avengers symbol laying on the ground laying half-buried in the rubble. Upon seeing the fallen symbol, he realized that he had been taken to the Avengers Compound. Peter would have never recognized the Compound without having seen the symbol. The entire building had been completely decimated. Large pieces of concrete were laying haphazardly on the ground, and water flooded the area from the burst piping of the building. Some areas of the rubble were set aflame from the initial firing of Thanos warship._

_ Peter almost couldn't believe his eyes. He has spent countless hours at the Compound during his time 'interning' for Mr. Stark. Initially, his internship was his main cover for his Spider-man patrols and for getting superhero advice from the one and only Iron Man. But after finding the teen's penchant for tinkering with computers and whatever tech he could find, Mr. Stark had insisted on Peter coming to his personal lab at the Compound so they could have some 'fun'. Turns out that Mr. Starks idea of 'fun' was staying up till four in the morning and seeing how much coffee they could down all while they were messing with explosives and other highly dangerous tech. Not that Peter didn't enjoy messing with the advanced technology the billionaire provided for him, but being the teen and superhero he was, Peter barely got enough sleep as it is without adding Mr. Starks tinkering adventures to it. So, it was safe to say that Peter had many memories at the Compound with his mentor._

_ It was heartbreaking to see the Compound reduced to this sad state of rubble._

_ And then he noticed the harbingers of this destruction._

_ He could have fainted right then and there._

_ Holy shit._

_His eyes widened as he saw the immense army Thanos had at __his__ command, and despite his eyes already being quite wide, his eyes widened further when he saw the lone man standing in front of the army._

_ Peter was sure he would've peed his pants if he was in Steve Rodgers position._

_ Captain America was standing there in front of Thanos' army._

_ Alone._

_ Beaten up._

_ And with a broken shield._

_ Peter liked to think that he was pretty brave to be in the superhero business, or at least a little insane, considering that he put himself in harms way to face villains practically every day. _

_ But, there was no way that he would be able to stand alone like Captain America and not be at least a little bit afraid._

_ Or, at least at his current age he would be._

_ Peter hoped that when he matured he would be able to gain the sheer amount of bravery that practically oozed off of the hero in front of him._

_ Right now, Peter just wished he was back on that field trip that he had left. Dying had so not been cool, and to be frank, the prospect of facing Thanos again made him feel queasy. Unfortunately, Peter was left with no time to reflect on his current predicament, as the rest of the reinforcements arrived._

_ And then the American hero, who had been valiantly standing in front of him, let out a cry._

_ "AVENGERS…"_

_ Peter readied himself for the upcoming fight, his heart beating against his chest as he grew more nervous for the outcome of this battle._

_ Peter was scared._

_ "…ASSEMBLE!"_

_ Honestly, everything was a blur to Peter as web-slung from alien to alien taking them out. Peter tried to have as little physical contact as he could with the creepy alien things, he still didn't know if that would try to implant him with eggs. Like seriously, he really didn't know. No one could ever be too careful. Besides, he didn't want his arm to be bitten off while he fought the creatures, they seemed to have no qualms about eating human flesh. So, Peter left most of the fighting to the spider legs on his new suit._

_ Swinging above the battlefield, a blur of red and gold caught his eye. Quickly switching direction mid-swing, he ran up to the hero collapsed on the ground. Excitement grew in his heart as he helped his mentor up to his feet. Mr. Stark was alive, and standing right in front of him. This was real, Peter couldn't stop himself from babbling about all the crazy stuff he has experienced in the last hour_ _or so since he came back. He was just so happy to get Tony back. Peter was just happy to be standing here alive. It had been a really rough day._

_ And then, Tony hugged him._

_ "Oh, this is nice." Peter was slightly shocked._

_ A real hug._

_ From Tony Stark. _

_ And it wasn't some awkward half hug while sitting in the back of the billionaire's limo._

_ Peter could've cried right there. This whole ordeal was really getting to him. He had just died, and had the adventure of a lifetime. He just wanted a happy ending to this fight, and this hug was the one good thing that has happened to him this whole time._

_But, all good things must come to an end. When Tony finally released him, hands still holding onto his shoulders, Peter steeled himself and tried to pretend that his eyes weren't watering up._

_ "Let's do this, kid." Mr. Stark gave his shoulders a reassuring squeeze, as if trying to make sure the teen was real and not dust._

_ And then they both went their separate ways, blasting and webbing aliens._

_ Somewhere in all the endless fighting, Peter ended up with the Infinity Gauntlet. He was panicking, but he knew he had to hightail it out of there. He had the INFINITY GAUNTLET. So, he ran as fast as he could, dodging massive amounts of aliens. Peter was completely overwhelmed, there were too many of them. _

_ "Karen activate instant kill mode." Peter was really freaking out now, he was completely surrounded by aliens now, and Peter was 99% positive that he was going to be eaten alive._

_ The aliens were crawling everywhere, screaming into his highly sensitive ears. It was a nightmare come true. Peter scrunched his eyes up, he didn't want to see himself eaten by these things. Think happy thoughts, Peter told himself. The creatures screeched louder as the spider legs of his suit snapped off._

_ Crap._

_ Happy thoughts indeed._

_ The creatures were completely on top of him, and he desperately clung to the infinity gauntlet. He could not let Thanos gain access to the infinity stones._

_ No matter what._

_ And then suddenly they were gone._

_A group of heroes had knocked all the aliens off of him._

_ "We'll take it from here." Captain Marvel told the teen._

_ Peter just sat in a daze, he was exhausted. Who knew fighting aliens would be so hard? His injuries were catching up to him, and he knew that he needed to take a break before he passed out in the middle of a fight. Peter took this chance to check on the other heroes. Glancing around the battlefield, he saw most the heroes were doing pretty well against Thanos' army of aliens, but then he saw Tony._

_ Tony lunged at Thanos and was batted away, rolling on the ground. Thanos had a sadistic grin as he snapped his fingers. Peter was almost expecting to immediately fall to dust. He thought he was done for. Peter glanced to his hands to see that he was, in fact, not disappearing. Peter looked back up to the fight to see his mentor with a smirk on his face._

_ "I….."_

_ Tony struggled with the sheer amount of power coursing through his veins._

_ "…..am…."_

_ Peter jumped to his feet, running towards Mr. Stark. He shouted at the top of his lungs, begging Tony to stop, saying he didn't have to do this to end the battle. There had to be another way._

_ There had to be._

_ "….IRON MAN!" _

_ Tony snapped his fingers._

_ Peter was knocked off of his feet from the blast that came from the snap. As soon as he could, Peter stumbled back to his feet and sprinted to Tony's side._

_ "Mr. Stark!"_

_ Peter fell to his knees at his mentor's side. Peter clung to him, similarly to when he had been dusted, and cried. Tears leaked out of his eyes as he desperately grabbed on to Tony as if it would prevent him from leaving Peter. _

_ "Please…..don't leave me."_

_ Peter pressed his face, his cheeks wet from tears, into Tony's dying chest._

_ "I don't want you to go."_

_Peter could hear the gears of Tony's arc reactor slow and fade out._

_ "Please, Mr. Stark. I don't want you to leave."_

_Peter sobbed as hands grabbed him and pulled him away from his dying mentor_.

So here Peter was, standing at Mr. Starks funeral and trying to hold back more tears.

If there were any left.

Peter had cried and screamed his heart out as fellow Avengers pulled him away from the cold body of his mentor. He could still remember hearing his final breath leave his lips and the arc reactor's final hiss as it stopped working when the man stopped breathing. He remembered Mr. Stark's unfocused and gaze into the distance.

_It haunted him._

Peter watched his mentor die every night. His nightmares never giving him a single moment of reprieve. Each nightmare left Peter screaming and crying and wishing that he could have done something. Anything. His heart hurt so much that it physically pained him.

Seeing the arc reactor float away in the lake was almost too much. Never again would it power Tony Stark. Peter would never get to hug his mentor again. He would never be able to go to him for advice again. Peter would never be able to see Tony raise his daughter.

Mr. Stark's daughter.

Peter had been gone for five years. He almost couldn't believe it, but it made Mr. Stark's out of character hug more reasonable. Mr. Stark had been saying goodbye to Peter, telling him that he missed him, and that he would sacrifice what he had created for himself in the past five years to give Peter a chance at living again.

Tony had a life waiting for him, and he threw it away to save the world along with Peter. It made Peter want to hate him for sacrificing himself, because Tony should've saved himself. His daughter needed him, she was too young to grow up without her father. Just like Peter was too young when his parents died. The death of a parent or parent figure always left a hole in one's heart. Peter would always feel the aching of his Uncle's death for the rest of his life. It made him want to be angry at Tony, because _why_ did he have to be a self-sacrificial _idiot_ and do this. Anyone else at that battle could have made the sacrifice. Peter himself would've put himself in harms way to make sure that Tony would get back to his daughter safely. But at the same time, Peter couldn't find it in his heart to be truly angry at the man. He knew Tony had done it because he had cared.

And because he cared, Tony would do whatever it took to fix Thanos' snap. It was why Tony had hugged Peter so tight when he came back to life, he didn't know if he would be able see him again after the battle. Tony didn't know if he would remain alive. So, Tony had made sure to see Peter one more time before the battle ended.

Just to make sure that his sacrifice wouldn't be in vain, and to say goodbye.

His mentor had given Peter a hug goodbye, but Peter had never gotten to do the same. Peter wanted to tell Tony how much he meant to him. Peter wanted to thank him for everything. Peter just wanted another chance to see him again.

Just one more time.

_One._

So, when he saw some of the Avengers get together at their time machine he took a chance.

"_Please._ Let me go back."

"You know you won't be able to save him, right? Anything you do in the past does not affect our timeline and instead create an alternate timeline. Besides, Tony's death was a result of the Infinity Stones and to undo it would take someone to use the stones again and it would just be too risky. That's why Steve is returning them to the past, and of course to keep all alternate timelines stable." Hulk, or Bruce Banner, told Peter. Peter didn't know what to refer to him as now. Apparently in the past five years they managed to become one and the same? Peter was still kinda confused over this five year gap.

"I know." Peter sighed, he would do anything to bring Tony back to life. If only Morgan didn't have to grow up without a father. "But, I need to do this. I just want to see him one more time."

"Alright."

And then Peter was suited up and sent back to the past.

Creeping out of an alleyway, Peter made his way to Avengers Tower. He had made sure to pick a day that his past self wouldn't be at the Tower. There was no reason to given himself a heart attack, even if it apparently wouldn't affect him. This time travel stuff was really messing with Peter's head. Who knew that Back to the Future wasn't accurate? Honestly, it crushed Peter's dreams a little.

Peter walked straight to the elevator and greeted F.R.I.D.A.Y. as he made his way up. He grew increasingly nervous with every second on the elevator. What should he say? Most people never got the chance to go back in time and say goodbye to their loved ones. Peter was lucky, but he didn't feel that way. His stomach churned at the thought of saying goodbye. He still didn't want to think about Mr. Stark's death.

The doors of the elevator opened with a cheerful beep and forced Peter to get off and face his worst fear; saying goodbye. He never liked goodbyes. Goodbyes meant his parents leaving at his Aunt and Uncle's house. Goodbyes meant going to his Uncle's funeral. Goodbyes meant losing Tony.

Peter took a deep breath and walked down to Tony's personal lab. Opening the door, he glanced around the room to see his mentor deeply focused on one of his projects. Hearing footsteps, Tony looked up to see who walked in the door.

"Kid? What are you doing here today? Aren't you supposed to be hanging out with Ned? It's all you would rave about all week."

Peter didn't say anything. He continued walking up to Mr. Stark and stopped when he was standing in front of him.

"Kid, are you okay?" Mr. Stark stood up from his seat, worry written across his face.

Peter took a step forward and hugged him, pressing the side of his face next to the arc reactor embedded in his chest. Peter could hear the reactor humming, reassuring him that this was real. Tony was here, and that this wasn't a figment of Peter's own imagination. A sad smile grew on his face.

"_I missed you._"

Peter took and step back and looked at his mentor with watery eyes.

"_Thank you._"

A single tear dropped down the side of his face.

"_For everything._"

**So, did I make anyone cry? I was definitely crying when Tony died in Endgame, ****so I decided to go ahead and write this****. :(**

** Anyways, hope you guys liked this! Feel free to favorite and review! Thanks for reading!**


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